high school sweethearts

This topic contains 13 replies, has 14 voices, and was last updated by  wilson 5 years, 1 month ago.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #5244

    Mrs.Ugly
    Participant

    I know of various people who are still in love with their high school sweethearts. And even years and years after high school and when the person has already moved on they still get great memories when thinking of their high school sweethearts and many would even go back in time and stay together if they could. This got me thinking but do you think a person ever trully gets over a high school sweetheart?

    #19643

    aiden
    Participant

        I think eventually you can get over them.  But I know that you will always have a place for them in your heart, maybe not strong enough to fall in love with them all over again, but you may always have some feelings for them, or the person they were.  I use to think that I was in love with my old best friend.  I thought we were soul mates.  But over the past three years things changed.  He''s not the same person he use to be and although I still care about him, I don''t necessarily have the same deep emotions anymore.  Not near the same as my current boyfriend. 
        But one thing I did find really interesting, is that your first love connection is similar to a drug addiction in the brain.  It''s your first intensely strong emotional connection with someone, and when you''re with that person, your brain produces similar chemicals and cravings that are associated with the affects of drugs.  So your brain can actually become programed to that certain love, it may never go away but it can diminish overtime. 

    #19660

    juju44
    Participant

    Thats really interesting that your brain can be programed for a certain love. I''ve noticed in most people that all their ex''s have something in common. Whether its the type of person they are, their height, their body, their personality just something is going to be the same in every relationship you get in. I know in all of mine it was like that, I learned from past ones and I keep upgrading but theres still things that remain the same.
    I dont know if you ever trully get over a high school sweetheart though. I used to think you could and time will change all, but I met this lady who is married, with children. She loves her husband deeply but she said if she had to choose, she''d pick her high school sweetheard. They still talk and they even hooked up a few times and although its very wrong that she''s cheating, she said she would''ve left her husband a long time ago if it weren''t for her children. She loves her husband also though and staying without him is difficult as well. She changed my thoughts about getting over a high school sweetheart. If they''re still the same when they''re older I think a person will have those feelings and thoughts forever.

    #19710

    NonSmoker
    Participant

        Have you heard of the movie Love in a Time of Cholera?  It''s a good romantic movie about a man who falls deeply in love with this girl.  They''re teenagers at the time and they fall in love and exchange letters when she leaves out of the country.  When she comes back, she''s more grown up and after seeing him, realizes that what they had was just words and the idea of love.  She told him to get lost and she grew up beautiful and married a doctor.  They were in love, but still her husband had an affair.  Once she found out, she made him stop seeing the woman, and she went away to be with her sister for over a year.  Her husband went to go find her and things were settled between them.  They remained together until he died, and even all these years, her first love remained madly in love with her.  He shared relationships with other women, mostly sexual escapades, but he always had a place in his heart for this woman.  He asked for her hand in marriage when she was 65 years old and they lived a great life together with the remaining years. 
        This story meant a lot to me because it shows how strong love is.  And it''s romantic to think that just one person can bring you so much happiness, just the thoughts of being with them are enough to wait decades for them. 

    #19717

    druzuz
    Participant

    I dont believe one could ever get over a highschool sweetheart. I believe a person can get over their first love only because that could happen at any age and any time and you could realise your first love was terrible, but when its a high school sweetheart, obviously they''re not terrible because your still referring to them as a “sweetheart”. Things may have gotten in the way and things may not have worked out but that person will have your heart forever and I''m sure as anyone thinks about their high school sweetheart a smile comes accross their face.

    #19769
    sloppyjoejoe
    sloppyjoejoe
    Participant

    druzuz said: I dont believe one could ever get over a highschool sweetheart. I believe a person can get over their first love only because that could happen at any age and any time and you could realise your first love was terrible, but when its a high school sweetheart, obviously they''re not terrible because your still referring to them as a “sweetheart”. Things may have gotten in the way and things may not have worked out but that person will have your heart forever and I''m sure as anyone thinks about their high school sweetheart a smile comes accross their face.

    Thats true im sure everyone who thinks about their highschool lovers smile. Its usually happy memories that are remembered. But its faith if it didn''t work out. Thats the way its supposed to be. I heard that usually 70% of people end up marrying their high school sweethearts. I could be wrong though because I read it on myspace but I do know of a lot of people who did marry their high school sweethearts.

    #19826

    millie
    Participant

    I think you could get over them. And not just over them to where you wont be bothered and hurt when you think of them, but over them over them where you dont want to be with them at all. But there''s just some aspects about them that you''ll end up missing.

    #20323

    Blessed
    Participant

    As we get older, our desires change and we change also as individuals.  What might have been important in a guy during high school may not be as important when you''re say, 25.  I''m finding this to be true.  In high school you typically date someone for specific reasons and end up falling for them, but it''s not the mature love most of the time that could lead into a healthy marriage.  When you''re older, you gain independence and eventually find someone that makes you happy and finds your needs just as important than theirs.  Your high school sweetheart may have been right for you at that time, but as you grow up, the relationship can become less meaningful. 

    #20352

    Raggae99
    Participant

    Sometimes you fall in love with a person though for their personality. All of their other traits may be so wrong, their beliefs, their actions all that. But the way the are the conversations you have all those are sometimes very hard to get over. The person may be completely wrong for you too, but that just makes it hard to get over. I think thats why with many high school sweethearts people dont get over them. They cant be with them because they''re completely wrong for them but those feelings stay. I believe you can love again and you can love two. I dont think I will ever get over my highschool sweetheart. Honestly I dont like her at all I hate what she has become and all the things she has done to hurt me but i still wont be able to get over her. I''m currently in love with an amazing women I wouldn''t trade her for the world. But sometimes I wish i could have my highschool sweetheart back.

    #20772

    jude
    Participant

    I recently found my highschool love. He was my 1st love and I never have forgotten him and never got over him. See, we fell in love at 15 and 16 and we fell hard! I ended up pregnant and my Mom ended our relationship. She forbid us to see each other. We wanted to get married and have the baby but she totaly ripped him out of my life and not let me have the baby(her choice not mine!). I went on to marry later in life and have 2 kids, but not before a first failed marriage. He went on and exprienced the same things in his life. We were parallelled in life with the same things happening to us at the same time, but just apart and with differnet people. He and I have been married to our spouses for 16 years and have 2 children. It has been 24 years and we are both missing each other and still madly in love with each other. I gave my heart away over 24 years ago and never really got it back. I am in a marriage that my husband is very self centerd and drinks way too much. Its just not good and I am not happy. I know from talking to him that he is in a marriage that is not happy either. We have met and seen each other several times and have been intimate. I still love him and I long for him. He said he has looked for me for years and can not believe we have finaly found each other. We tell each other we love each other and that some day we will be together forever. While I know it is wrong for us to build a relationship while we are still married to someone else. I have not been this happy and at peace with my heart since we were together so many years ago. I am not sure that EVERY person should marry their highschool sweetheart, but I do know that I should have married mine. Dont get me wrong I love my children and the person that life has brought me to, but I miss and love the man  that promised to love me forever so many years ago. He aparently has kept that promise!

    #20821

    sjones
    Participant

    My fiancé and I have been together for a little over two years now and we’ve been engaged for 7 months. He has an old girlfriend he dated back in high school 30 years ago and I don''t know if they were high school sweethearts but they were something close to it. My fiancé’s sister told me this info around last November and when she told me I didn’t let my fiancé know that I knew….at least not right away. Here''s my concern…they broke up not long after they graduated high school and here it is 30 years later and she is still holding on to what was….he''s moved on with his life but it''s so obvious that she has not….and she is really starting to bug me! She was married and now divorced and has two kids and I believe they are 12 & 14. Here''s another piece to this puzzle…her first cousin is married to my fiancé’s sister and I believe they''ve been married for about 9 years…this is the same sister who told me they dated back in high school…so she is my fiancé’s cousin-in-law and so she''s “In” with his family. So, whenever there are family get togethers….she is there most of the time…and so is my fiancé'' and I. Every time I see this woman….she is always reminiscing about their high school days and how wonderful those times were. She is really becoming a problem for me…she looks to my fiancé for support and she sometimes will call on him when one of her boys has problems at school or if she needs money…I mean she acts like he is their father. I truly think that she is a bum! She is always crying broke and she is very manipulative but she doesn''t fool me….I see right through her BSing butt. Every now and again my fiancé will take her kids out to a ball game or hang out with them. There father isn’t in the picture so she looks to my fiancé to be the “rent a dad”. All that was fine with me until about a month ago when she started prying and asking me personal questions about my finance'' and I and about our relationship…she asks questions like “Are you taking good care of him? or “Are y''all going to have children?” and it’s really bothering me. She is always texting him or calling him for one reason or another….for really stupid stuff…its gotten to the point now where she is really pissing me off and I finally said to my self..” Hey! Now wait a minute! You just hold on there!” I am now feeling uncomfortable around her and I want so badly to meet her outside and kick her butt…but I am too classy a lady for all of that….I am really getting sick of her prying in our business. I truly believe that she is addicted to him and she is still holding on to what they had in high school…..and she won’t let it go! I think that in her little mind she believes that one day they will be together again. Now I’d like to handle this like a lady should, but it’s about to go down and I‘m about 2 seconds away from exploding at her and whooping her butt! Oh what’s a Lady to do???

    #20963

    Jadziarose
    Participant

    I lived with my high school sweetheart our last year together in High school before he was transfered to BC with his dad. I went on with my live always looking for that stable loving relationship. Had a beautiful baby girl at 20 and before she was 2 he proposed to me in a coffee shop. He had come to take me back with him to BC. I was in a failing relationship with the child''s father so I jumped in and married him a week later.

    My memory of the first few weeks were a little hazy, I was sick, away from my family, in tears a few times and then, A letter arrived 3 weeks into the marriage from the father of my child. it was 5 pages long typed front and back…. telling me how wrong I was and that he would forgive me for what I had done and he would take me back. What I didnt know at the time was I am bipolar. At any rate, I hung my head and returned, believing I was doing the right thing for my daughter. That relationship ended 8 months later when he became abusive.

    That was 18 years ago. On and on through my relationships since, I have managed to build a friendship with my high school sweetheart. Last year he asked me to move back with him, and it''s been the best year of my life! I love him Always have always will!!

    #20972

    Misschris
    Participant

    Well this is a tough one. Meet a great guy in HS I''d say in 8th grade. We were best pals. It stayed that way till he moved away junior year. I was crushed. Our relationship was not of a sexual nature just one of affection and friendship. I could always talk to him. I wrote and we called back and forth for years… Never losing contact until I went to visit him at college for a weekend and I sorta blew it.

    We then lost contact only to reconnect the year I had just gotten married and was living close by him. He came to see me when my husband was away for an evening. I was not happy in that first year of marriage and he was single. That''s when I should have had the courage to say.. I want out and pursued him. The love was still there and very strong. Fast forward to end of 2009.. When some 16 years later he finds me online. He looked fab. We wanted to meet. Couple issues he was due to get married in a few weeks and I was already married with kids. We made it happen anyway and it was amazing. We meet twice that summer. The second time we made love and that was incredible. However, I''m heartbroken. Because I love him and we can''t be together. I will never be over him. He is far to dear to me.

    #21015

    wilson
    Participant

    I think more the feeling than the person. I remember the feelings. Not too much about the actual person.

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